Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
Randomize
