I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
In other news, I just burned my penis
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
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