Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
Randomize