I like my sex mixed with concussions.
It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
