Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize
