i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
Randomize
