i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
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