I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Randomize