and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Randomize
