I got chris browned last night
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
Randomize
