Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
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