I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
