If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
