I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
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