my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize