I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
Let's get the cat blown out
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Randomize
