Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
there is puke in my bra ... again
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