Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
Randomize
