her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
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