Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Randomize
