Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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