Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize