I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
Randomize
