so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
I am full of burrito and curiosity
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
Randomize
