I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
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I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
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We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
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