Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
Randomize
