We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
Randomize
