she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
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