Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Randomize
