Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize