when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
my phone needs a breathalizer
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Randomize
