Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
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