I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
