So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
Randomize
