look no pants
I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
Randomize
