your parents love me but you hate me
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
Randomize
