you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
Randomize
