Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
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