Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
Randomize
