I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Randomize
