i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Randomize
