Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
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