also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
