tell your sister to shave her snatch
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Randomize
