I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
Randomize
