I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Randomize
