I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
Randomize
