I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Randomize
