WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
I'm experimenting with sincerity
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
