So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
