shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
I just want nice things and good sex
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
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