Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
Randomize
