we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
Randomize
