Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
