it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
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Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
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She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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