Pregnant stripper...not hot.
Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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