i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
Randomize
