Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
Randomize
